What have I been up to?

Blue is moving along nicely! I have a patron for whom I’m doing three pieces. I’m a little nutty over wanting them to be just short of perfect. I’m working daily on them.

I asked my medical doctor about the walls of her office. The art on them is rather half-hearted, at best. She instead suggested I donate a piece to a fund-raiser she will be attending with other doctors. I can include a page on me & my mission, along with some business cards. It will be auctioned off. That’s a great audience for my work. I know the piece I will use. Now I’m looking for the best quality, most economical way to reproduce it.

I’m looking into a website that combines online sales with a gallery. I’ve submitted my request to join the site.

So I practice my art daily and look for customers daily. Haven’t written much recently. But hey, maybe I can incorporate some of this blog into the book.

I’m VERY happy! How about you?

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Mother’s Day musings

There were so many wishes for a Happy Mother’s Day last Sunday.  I hope yours was.

Most of us realize that Mother’s Day is not happy for everyone. It could be that you had a trying relationship with your mother, it could be that your mother is gone – temporarily or permanently. It could be that you wanted to be a mother and are not.

My mother passed away 10 years ago.  All that remains are great memories and her funny sayings. My children live in different states, pursuing their lives.  I used to let Mother’s Day really bring me down.  I tried to ignore it. I tried to ignore my sadness. I’d spend the day with mother-like figures in my life or with young mom’s.

This year I’m looking at things differently. Instead of thinking about what I’m missing, I’m thinking of all I have. And maybe that’s because of all I would have lost if my suicidal thoughts had become a reality. I have 8 kooky, rebellious, clever, beautiful children. I have a husband I love dearly and who loves me almost as much (hehehe.) I’ve traveled around our country seeing so many beautiful places and meeting intriguing people. I’ve even had the experience of being a “rich American” in a developing nation but we called it a third world nation back then.

My health has managed to remain relatively good. I have learned from and been a blessing to hundreds of folks in my professional career. And now as I move into the second half of my time here on earth, I feel I have the opportunity to start fresh. To rethink how I will perceive my environment and to tell myself great things about ME.

I’ve learned that being thankful could pull me out of a blue funk. Saying thank you to God redirects my thinking. It puts my focus back on Him, rather than me. Perhaps my most often repeated scripture is Philippians 4:8 “Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise—dwell on these things.” – Holman Christian Standard Bible. God is true, honorable, just…so I dwell on Him.

I remember my mother saying “Thank you, Jesus” every time she came back in the house.  I thought it was kinda cute back then. Now I have a better understanding of the dangers and struggles she might have faced as a single mother. I have a better appreciation of the simplest things and situations He’s given me and protected me from.

Thank you, Jesus.

Hello world!

Shout emoticon

Shout emoticon (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Well, I have to say that I never really understood blogging. Even more so than Facebook statuses, it seemed to be the mindless mutterings on non sensical moments for the masses. Actually I’ve only read two in my life: one of my best friend’s and my brother’s. Read ’em both once. Well now that’s not completely true, cause there is a hair blog I used to read. And it was very helpful to me.

I hope this blog will be helpful to many, including myself. I’ll try not to mutter mindlessly too often. I will talk candidly about my journey through depression, including its causes, effects and treatments. I will do this in the hope of removing some of the taboo of the subject.

I will also give you a view of the art I have created during the healing process. Fair warning, I’m no Van Gogh.  But it is really not about creating a masterpiece.  It is about “finding my voice” and helping others find theirs.  I’ve read that depression is anger turned inward.  I believe that is true in my case. For about two years I’ve been working to find my voice.  I’m something of a good writer (well you can be the judge of that) but writing has become more and more difficult for me through the years. Perhaps because I was losing my real self to be what I thought others wanted me to be and feeling unable to express my displeasure about that!

Hey, I quit my job of 13 years this week to focus on healing.  So I’ve got lots of time for navel pondering. See you back here soon.